Livin’ Large In County

Why not live large while you’re in County? All yo’ homies will be eating that simple grule, drinking water, while you are fucking with the White Lightning, getting rocked off your ass! Sleep with that shit like a baby or like a bitch, it will keep you warm. The next day, you’ll be shittin’ like a mother fucker, but you’ll be getting your swerve on mang with a sweatsock! That’s what’s poppin’. Gutter Style.

I Blame Hip Hop

I thought that the Soulja Boy fad was over. Apparently shawty has been sippin’ a little too much of the sizzurp, because girlfriend is straight trippin’! I like it how the old lady isn’t even phased, and then the young guy just straight rips her weave off. Where’s my hat?

I BLAME HIP HOP! Set a better example will you. That’s a grown woman and she’s solving a problem doing the Soulja Boy dance. What will they think of next, Crumping while fixing your car?

Insane in the Membrane

Now check out lil’ homey here. He says I don’t care if I’m Too $hort (no, really too short), or I have some kind of weird appendage where there is supposed to be an arm. Hell, I don’t even care if I’m bumping Hip Hop Black people hate. Whateva, Whateva, I do what I want! I’m gonna show you good people what I’m all about. I’m a dancer damn it, look at me go. Good for him, it’s either doing the crazy Hip Hop dance thing, or just applying to be a stand in on one of those Leprechaun movies. That’s what’s poppin’.

Thug Life

Check out baby boy. He’s seven years old, and he wants to live the Thug Life like Tupac, Biggie, Eazy Muthafuckin’ E, or better yet, Iceberg Slim. The best part is that he just wanted to cruise in a tricked out four wheel drive, roll on Dubs, and smoke cigarettes with his boy. Why do kids in the Ghetto feel they have to drive so early? Can’t they just stick to those miniature motorcycles?

Aunt Dolores Is At It Again

I told Aunt Dolores to lay off the Boone’s Farm, but she wouldn’t listen! She know’s what’s poppin’. There are some barbecue’s goin’ on in the ghetto son, goin’ on. You get you some ribs, some charcoal, some dranks, and you got yourself a backyard party. Let the fighting and grinding begin. Get it girl, go on. My man in the red is all shy, then hams it up for the camera. You know he hit that later after about 6 Knotty Heads.

Plight of the Big Booty Girl

Gurlz, youknowwhutwesayin? They don’t make jeans for the big booty ho girl ever. they only make jeans for the skinny ass bitch who your baby’s daddy is now dating banging. We’re tired of it ladies. What’s a girl to do? Thank the lord for this instructional video.

The Ghetto Loves Them Some Freestyle Battles

Ok, this was passed on to us by a fan. Where the hell do we start on this one? First off, we’ll dub this the “Short Bus Battle”. The GZA is flipping shit because they stole his song name for their show first off. Secondly, who’s envious about a rapper who still brings a Juice Box to high school? He should change his name from ENVY to Corky. It is way more fitting. Thirdly, the clear winner, Eli, just straight murders his retarded rap. His opening verse just cuts short, and whether he is in a Paxil induced brain fart, or just thinks that’s all he has to say, it’s right on point. Two observations though, why all the homophobia? Like Rosie O’Donnel in a bisexual bridal shower? He already stepped out of the shade into the Gay parade? That’s some vicious stuff, for a guy who probably spends his days counting jelly beans in a jar. (We here at WPITG do not condone such homophobia) This is what we’re talking about: what’s poppin in the ghetto. Whether it be retarded freestyles, drug deals gone bad, or just plain everyday stuff, we’re here to help.

He Loves Him Some Church, Sing On Brother

If it’s one thing that’s for certain, folks in the Hood love the Church. As a matter of fact, if you’re living on the street in the Hood, you really love church, God, Baby Jesus, and singing hymns. As this young go getter shows us, no matter how jacked up on crack you are, you think you can stand at the pulpit and sing Omazing Grace. Our favorite part is when the music gets lower and he just belts out another verse, complete with some Al B Sure! type improvisation. It’s almost as bad as when some R & B singer attempts the Star Spangled Banner and has to put their own twist on it, moaning and screeching like a cat in heat. Youknowhutimsayin? At least this time he’s doing it for the lawd.

Gas Is Expensive, Go Scraper Bike

Maybe last year these cats were on to something. Gas is over 3 bucks a gallon everywhere, so why not steal a three wheeler from the local retard or old man and trick it out? Put some 22″s ? on it, add tape from the Dollar Store, and Ghost Ride the whip through your hood. Then, video tape it and watch your posse be the envy of three wheelin’ retards and old men everywhere.

What to Wear On a First Date

What we have here is what any normal woman does. After you get your hair did, you get your nailz done. It’s normal for women to paint their nails, but what you really needs is to let everyone know what your favorite beverages are. I mean, picture this: You’re on your first date, you’re having trouble deciding whether to wear your Denver Nuggets jersey dress (Carmello on the first date, Iverson on the second) with your knee high Timbos with the leather tag attached, matching fitted cap or maybe you want to wear the Ed Hardy Rhinestone tattoo hat ( I mean you know who Ed Hardy is right?), Ed Hardy Premium Denim, Ed Hardy tunic, and your Ed Hardy handbag. You’ve also got the Ed Hardy heels on as well. You’re looking for the perfect accessory, one that screams: “I like Sprite, RC, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, and Lil’ Hugs (but wait, are Lil’ Hugs a soda flavor?”).

Here’s the perfect accessory. Get your nails airbrushed like soda cans. That way when you go to Jack in the Box on that first date, your young suitor won’t have to guess. Let him order for you, it’s much more classy.